What sex is your PC?

A friend recently asked me "what sex is your PC"? – An interesting question :-O

Seriously speaking (not that I knew what this means), I don't care about the sex of computers since I think that it is my duty to actually get rid of computers. I don't want anyone to have to do it (or whatever) with computers. I am afraid, not even Sex reassignment surgery could be of any help here. Nor (applied to computers) a sex change or actually having sex, though this is probably one of the best things one could do with computers.

Jokingly (is there a difference that makes a difference?), I don't care either. For several reasons I guess.

One being that my computers are English. It's the computers or a computer. This makes life of a sysadmin (and answering my friend's questions) somewhat easier. Although, the English language does differentiate sexes, saying things like "her slot" or "his joystick" just doesn't sound right to me. I prefer "its slot" and "its joystick".

Moreover, no matter whether I am working or not, I prefer not to address computers at all. I especially dislike the time where I have to address them. But then, I admit, most of the time when I actually do address a computer as a machine or whatever entity, I rather say things like "you damn stupid fucked-up shitball of useless broken crap" … "I can't believe your … CENSORED … hard disk doesn't work". You see, this is a rather neutral addressing, at least sexologically speaking.

Huh! Wait, privately, I use more or less 4 computers: 1 is a laptop. It's called "notebook". Neutral. 1 is a server. This one answers to the name IAC (short for Institute of Applied Cynicism). I'd say this qualifies as neutral, too.

Eventually, there are 2 desktop computers I work with. One is called "Luder". This is a German word, and it's neutral, too: Das Luder. But for most German speaking people it comes with a female connotation (which is very bad, believe me, if you think like this you shouldn't tell anyone, or at least never look up the etymology of "Luder"; and don't ask me, I won't tell you). The 4th computer, finally, is called "Ratte" (the rat). "Ratte" indeed is female in German ;)